Reverse Mortgage

In order to pay for my wife's care in a memory care facility, I had to get a reverse mortgage on our home. First came the appraisal then a financing agency which was selected by a friend who was in the investment business. The appraised value was $219,000. The approved amount to me was 80% of the market value. Before I received any of the funds I received a list of prior deductions. I don't know who got it but first was the closing fee of $12,000. The appraisal fee was $350 for about a fifteen minute walk-around. Attorney's fee was $850 for filling out a standard form. Engineer's approval was $50. Mandatory flood insurance on a property which is 975 feet above and three miles away from the nearest source of water was $1075. Monthly mortgage insurance is $32 and monthly service charge is $35. After every agency involved got its cut, I was given a line of credit for $147,000. The monthly charge for the adult home started at $3900 but since my wife was using a walker it was raised to $4100. After five months she fell and broke her arm. I was given notice that the charge was being raised another $500 to $4600. She fell six times in two months and broke her arm in two places. From that moment on she began deteriorating rapidly. After almost three months of intense pain she went into a coma during the last week she was alive. A day after she died I received a bill from the home for $1660. When I questioned what it was for I was told that the rate for the final five and a half days was $300 a day. I felt I had been ripped off. The staff at the home had no further reason to take care of my wife during the last five days because the Hospice nurses had taken complete charge of her. Losing my wife after sixty-five years was extremely depressing and to be hounded for more money before her body was disposed of was maddening.

Living alone

After 65 years of being happily married, I lost my wife, Polly, on January 24, 2009 to the devastating effects of Alzheimer's disease. Except for a daughter living in Harrah, WA and a son living in East Wenatchee and their children who I rarely see, I have no other relatives. I find also that I have no friends. Polly and I were the oldest of the group we associated with but outlived all except a couple who also have memory problems. The most difficult thing for me is being alone. I have momentary flashes when I realize that Polly doesn't live here any more but I no longer cry when those moments occur. I don't think I will ever get over the empty feeling that came with losing here. We went everywhere together so when I go to the supermarket or out for a meal, I feel the loss. When I lie in bed reading at night and hear the noises that a house makes, for a split second I think that am hearing Polly moving around. I know I will get used to her being gone but I will never get over missing her.